Friday, October 14, 2011

Day 319 - Decisions, Decisions

Day 319.

Every day we are constantly bombarded with choices and decisions to make, some more important than others. Should I walk the dog or wash the dishes? Should I brush my teeth or just swish around this Pepsi? Should I pay this parking ticket or kill the next policeman I see? Should I have an abortion or birth this child? These are the questions of our lives.

But I am in the unique position of having faced the same question for the past 319 days.


And yes, before anyone says anything, Safeway pharmacy does sell "Suicide Pills" and yes, you do have to take 1 capsule by mouth daily for 5 days. I'm not going to lie--they aren't the most effective suicide pills on the market right now. I mean, obviously--it's been 318 days since I started taken them and I'm still here. I suppose that's what I get for buying the generic stuff.


THINGS TO CONTEMPLATE.

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "And, frankly, she was kind of a pill about it."

24 comments:

  1. You realized you just revealed to the internet that you have herpes, right? (See "Zovirax.") Gross, dude, gross.

    ReplyDelete
  2. After reading your comment, I looked it up and it says it treats cold sores...

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...not like it matters...

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  4. Hilarious post! If those suicide pills don't work out and you get to day 365, PLEASE make a video of yourself doing the Avis slide as you walk onto the stage at your L&J&J celebration partay. It would be the cherry on the top of the awesome Lawrence-Dai-humour cake.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Abortion and suicide in one post, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Welcome to Earth, Anonymous #1! We humans tend to pick up bacteria and viruses and spread them amongst ourselves. In the span of a lifetime, humans suffer from many disgusting maladies. Luckily, we have treatment for many of them. You wouldn't want to know how gross our diseases could become without that treatment.

    ReplyDelete
  7. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    This post contradicts post 317 in which you imply that your preferred suicide method would be by gun wound! CONTINUITY ERROR! CONTINUITY ERROR!

    ReplyDelete
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  11. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke?
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