Saturday, September 3, 2011

Day 278 - Today's Menu Specials

Day 278.

Aside from the obvious daily physical/mental toll that comes from watching the same movie every day, this project of mine has had a number of unforeseen side effects. I dream about Julie & Julia, I only read news about people named Julie and/or Julia, and now I can't even look at a fucking menu without seeing a Julie & Julia food on it.

A Normal Person's Thoughts: Oh look, this restaurant has boeuf bourguignon.

My Thoughts: But it wasn't just boeuf bourguignon. It was Julia Child's boeuf bourguignon. When I was eight, my father's boss came to dinner and it was a really big deal, and my mother made boeuf bourguignon. Boeuf bourguignon. Julia's boeuf bourguignon.

A Normal Person's Thoughts: Cobb Salad. Nice.

My Thoughts: I will have a Cobb salad, no bleu cheese. Cobb salad, no beets. Cobb salad, no bacon. Cobb salad, no eggs. Cobb salad, Cobb salad, Cobb salad. Cobb salad Cobb salad Cobb salad. Cobb salad.

A Normal Person's Thoughts: Oh, wow--this Lobster Thermidor is pricey.

My Thoughts: Lobster thermidor is coming up, and I am going to have to murder and dismember a crustacean. How will I ever do this? Lobster killer, qu'est-ce que c'est? (to the tune of "Psycho Killer") Bah bah bah baaaa bah, bah bah bah baaaah bah. Lobster killer, nah naah nah nah nana nah naaaaaha. Lobster killer!

I'mma kill you, lobstafuckas.

Basically, whenever I look at a menu and see one of the food items mentioned in Julie & Julia, the internal J&J monologue running through my head--the one which I'm constantly trying to suppress for most of the day--just takes over and I go into a brief period of shock. Or in other words, I enter flashback mode.

278 days ago, I didn't even know what the fuck a boeuf bourguignon was. Now, I can't go anywehre without seeing that piece of shit beef stew on a sign or poster.



Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "But he never noticed me at first."


  1. Did Julia C. ever cook a lobsterfucka on a grill? That'd be dope

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