Thursday, August 18, 2011

Day 262 - Julie Powell W(h)ines

Day 262. 

In continuation of my mid-week California excursion, yesterday I visited the beautiful Napa Valley for some fine wine and some even finer Julie & Julia.


Now I know that some of you might think that trying to enjoy myself during these 2 hours of daily hell is cheating or something--to which I say, fuck you. I can do whatever I want during these viewings, as long as I actually watch Julie & Julia. And if that means venturing into the depths of sunny, 80-degree wine country, then so be it.

MY LIFE IS VERY DIFFICULT.

But seriously, don't you think even I, noted dumbass stunt blogger Lawrence Dai, deserve a nice mini-vacation--once that doesn't involve me cussing at my computer screen? Well actually, probably not. But I'm sure as hell going to take one, anyways. After all, if I'm going to waste 2 hours of my day watching a movie I've seen 260-something times already, I might as well do it in style (read: drunk).


And hey, the characters in Julie & Julia drink all the time! Julie Powell in particular is especially well-known for her signature W(H)INING, so I can totally justify traveling to Napa and seeing where wine is made as a Julie & Julia-related activity. As readers, I'm sure you guys will thoroughly enjoy reading about that, right? RIGHT?


Or maybe you're just here to watch me drink myself into sort of stupor...


Never mind that my body is physically unable to process alcohol...


I'VE BEEN ON A BINGE OF SELF-DESTRUCTION FOR 262 DAYS AND I AIN'T STOPPING ANYTIME SOON!!!


Seriously though, if any college admissions departments/potential employers are reading this and shaking their heads in disapproval, well... go back to doing your jobs you lazy bums!! I'm already in college/employed and there's no way you can kick me out now MUWAHAHAHAAH!!!

Tune in tomorrow for the story of how Northwestern decided to rescind their offer of admission 2 years after the fact. And after that, an exclusive look at how I lost my job for showing up to work drunk as fuck!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "And, may I say, excellent wine?" 

116 comments:

  1. Everyday that I read this, I become increasingly titillated. Titties.

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  2. And now I know that if I take heartburn meds before drinking, I can speed my buzz up, thanks Lawrence!

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  3. I hope you know that your trip to Napa, along with your concert tickets and other related expenses are tax-deductible, since you did your Julie and Julia work while engaged in these activities. Just one of the perqs for freelance writers. (Save your receipts!)

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  4. Everyday that you become more and more insane, everyday I grow to adore you. What can I say, I like damaged goods.

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  5. what if you watch the movi in other languages? You could end up being fluent in german or spanish or something in stead of wanting to jump off a bridge. i went back and read your first week.. hang in there, you have come this far. just sad to me that my favrite movi has become such a poison in your system
    enjoy the wine! nothing like good wine!

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  6. If you decide to stunt blog in this fashion at least consider investing in a crash helmet. It is also good to wear when you reach the falling-down stage in your drunk.

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