Monday, August 8, 2011

Day 252 - Half-Shaved Not Mark Ruffalo

Day 252.

For those of you who are new to the Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project (which is a great lot, judging from all the new comments), I think you should know how much disdain I have for Chris Messina, the actor who plays Eric Powell (Julie's husband). Chris Messina is a piece of shit, except you'll hardly ever see his name on this blog because since Day 3, I've pretty much only referred to him as "Not Mark Ruffalo." You know, because of his uncanny resemblance to actual actor, Mark Ruffalo.


-----Mark Ruffalo-----------------------Not Mark Ruffalo-----------------------

Well it just so happens that today, I've got a new NMR-related gripe for you all. Not Mark Ruffalo doesn't know how to fucking shave!


Okay, so in this scene, our buddy Not Mark Ruffalo has presumably just left the bathroom mid-shave to eavesdrop on Julie's phone conversation. We can see that he was about to shave the left side of his face, but decided to tend to his wife and her imminent "meltdown." An admirable, caring husband, no doubt. And surely such a supportive, competent husband would know how to properly shave himself!

But then, in the middle of the conversation, he does the unthinkable...


That's right. He just fucking wipes a half a Not Mark Ruffalo's face's worth of shaving cream from his non-Mark Ruffalo cheek! And he does it so nonchalantly, as if that is what normal people would do in that situation! No! No! No!!! The primary--nay, sole, reason of applying shaving cream to a particular area is that you actually shave the aforementioned area which is covered in shaving cream!!! It is not that difficult.

If I'm not mistaken (and I've seen this movie far too many times to be mistaken), Not Mark Ruffalo had not finished shaving at the beginning of this scene, and still remains half-shaven by the end of it.

WHAT THE FUCK, MANG!?!?! FINISH SHAVING BEFORE YOU WIPE UP THAT FUCKFACE OF YOURS!!! NOW YOU'S JUST WALKIN' ROUND LIKE SUM HALF-STUBBLED GOOB!!! 

LEARN HOW TO FUCKING SHAVE, NOT MARK RUFFALO!!!

Oh. You're just going to casually throw your shaving cream-covered towel
onto the dining room floor? Okay, I guess that's cool.




What kind of idiot doesn't know how to shave?  All I can say at this point is thank God for the actual Mark Ruffalo--a real man's man.

It's really great that this photo exists and is readily available on the internet.

Take note, NMR. See how Mark Ruffalo has carefully drawn the blade across his entire face--not just the right/middle areas. Notice how there isn't a huge fucking mass of shaving cream left over on his cheek when he's finished shaving? That is how it is done. But you wouldn't know that, now would you Chris Messina? Because all you've ever been--and all you'll ever be--is a poor man's Mark Ruffalo.

Learn to shave, asshole.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "And with a small, sharp knife, its edge always cutting against the bone..."

29 comments:

  1. Must have been Nair.

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  2. Wow I can't believe you were able to find such a fitting photo of Mark Ruffalo properly shaving.

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  3. Is there a reason, other than the fact that he LOOKS so much like Mark Ruffalo, that you hate poor Chris Messina?

    I hate Martha Plimpton, but it's because she was inexcusably rude to me once. The hatred you have for NMR seems a little disproportionate to his crime of looking like another (albeit fine) actor. Lots of actors look alike. Take the guy from "Chuck" and the guy from "The Office". I can never tell them apart! It's annoying, but I don't hate either one of them because...well, mainly because I never know who I'm watching, but even if I did, I wouldn't fault one for looking like the other. They can't help it.

    This whole thing reminds me of the Kim Kardashian-Old Navy girl lawsuit. Just because someone looks like a famous person shouldn't mean that they aren't allowed to be famous too.

    This comment is way too long. Sorry. I just felt kind of bad for NMR. Proceed.

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  4. It looks like he didn't even started to shave. I think he just like the feel of shaving cream and apply it ramdomly troughout his day...

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  5. I agree with TB. Of course, me being a newb i've learned you're a little edgy lol. Plus, i can't stand NMR either...Actually I only like the Julia and not the Julie altogether.

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  6. No wonder Julie Powell is such a bitch. What with having to deal with all the shaving cream covered towels thrown around her house and Not Mark Ruffalo's constantly stubbly face in spite of it.

    Only Mark Ruffalo can save her now! But she will have to fight me for him first.

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  7. Can you please have NMR guest blog one day? I think he would be way into it.

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  8. Hey I really admire you for keeping up with this for so long. Each post I've read thus far has given me a laugh. Kudos to you. Hope I can make it past 100 posts in a straight row!

    Oh, and I also kinda feel bad for NMR guy too. *shrug*

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  9. I would love to see a NMR guest blog as well. See if the kid has a sense of humor.

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  10. This is pretty standard movie convention, characters are interrupted mid-way through shaving and wipe the excess shaving cream off. Viola, they are miraculously clean shaven across their entire face! This is right up there with passing buses that make people across the street magically disappear.

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  11. Says the blogger that doesn't look like he's had to shave a day in his life! : D

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  12. Hilarious. :-) I have a copy of the book sitting at home waiting to be read now.

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  13. Hahahahaha your blog is amazing. You should make NMR merch.

    Gabby
    http://stardependentvitage.blogspot.com

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  14. I kinda like MR. He seems all normal, warm and approachable. I think I was the only one who liked him in the movie, "Blindness"...Heck I think I was the ONLY person who saw that movie and liked it. This is not because of MR but because I was legally blind at the time and could identify with the premise. Since then I have had EPIC eye surgery and I can NOW tell the difference between MR and NMR. NMR needs to just grow a real beard and stop riding on the coat tails of MR. But I also have trouble with Dougray Scott and Ben Chaplin soo..

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  15. That seems to be a good episode. I was curious to watch it.

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  16. Damn. I was wondering wehre my strange aversion to Chris Messina came from and now I have the answer. HE'S NOT MAREK RUFFALO.

    Thanks for clearing that up. It's been bugging me for a while.

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  17. you have a fucking problem. are you seriously gonna rant for 15 minutes about shaving? i'm sorry but i do believe there are more important things in life than someone shaving. get off your high horse and stop being a bitch.

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