Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Day 247 - Director's Commentary Commentary (pt. 3)

Day 247.

Yesterday was a pretty good day for the Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project. Not only did an actual Julie & Julia actor write a guest post, but I found out that this little blog of mine was the day's official Blogger blog of note. Pretty fucking cool considering that 247 days ago, I was just some kid with a really stupid idea. And look at me now--still some kid with a really stupid idea, but with multiple undiagnosed psychological disorders to boot!

But back to the grind, I suppose. You all seemed to enjoy Parts 1 and 2 of my director's commentary commentary so far, so here's part 3, which features the next ten minutes of Nora Ephron droning on about god knows what.


Nora Ephron's Director's Commentary in bold.  
My Director's Commentary Commentary in italics.

I have a billion favorite moments with Stanley, but this is one of my all-time favorites… right… around… there.

“You like hats.” Pretty good moment—I agree. Also, Nora Ephron looooooves the 'Tucc tongue.

And there.

“What is it that you really like to do?” STAN "THE MAN" TUCCI, MUGGIN' LIKE A PRO.

Just the tiniest moment of, sort of, a great husband not knowing whether to say “are you nuts? Are you crazy?” And just choosing to let it play out.

You can tell by the tone of Nora's voice that she really does enjoy this moment and has a genuine respect for the characters and the story here at this point. I like that a lot. Of course, the same cannot be said for when she talks about the Julie Powell parts.

This is right next to Notre Dame… just one of those great… French… trees and sun and... 

There she is! Good 'ol rambling, nonsensical, half-senile Nora Ephron!

The woman giving the bridge lesson here is Julia Child’s grand-niece, Julia Prud’homme

Hey! That's actually kind of a cool fact! I didn't even know that! And I Random Actor Tuesday'd Julia Prud'homme without the slightest of clues as to their being related--who'd a thunk it?

This is the famous English language bookstore in Paris.

Riveting commentary brought to you by Nora Ephron, one of the most successful female directors of all time.

One of the things we found very interesting was that, we scouted in Paris for restaurants like these but it was easier to find restaurants in New York that looked like restaurants in Paris in the 50s… than it was in Paris. This is a restaurant in Brooklyn… little French restaurant.

Oh man--and I thought I was losing it. Nora's clearly descending into madness after being forced to watch only 25 minutes of her own shitty movie.

One of the things that I was most surprised about when I began doing research about Julia and Paul… was that they had a very, very intense… sexual relationship, which they wrote about to all their friends.

I think it's just great how uncomfortable Ephron is talking about... dun, dun dun... THE MAKEY SEXY TIME. This lady is in her late 60s. You'd think she'd be more mature concerning these matters by now. Sexual intercourse is all around us. Unless, of course, you are the guy who watches Julie & Julia every day for a year.

*And then complete silence as Nora Ephron just watches Julia and Paul go at it*

Ho-kay, just a 'lil awkward.

And I loved contrasting those two people… with this modern couple who… worked so hard at their jobs and then of course Julie had her blog and… really… didn’t have much time for… for physical intimacy.

Soooo uncomfortable. I LOVE IT.

So… kind of great contrast between… now and then.

"Back in my day, we had so much pootenanny, why, you wouldn't believe it! Every fortnight, I'd wait 'till Pa went to bed and me and Abe would just sneak into the barn and go at it till the crows came home. A real roll in the hay. Nowadays, with these durned kids and their saggy jeanpants--they aren't fucking at all!" (should be read in cranky old grandma voice)

All this stuff about butter is probably as close as I ever get to religion—I just believe in butter. And… I can never resist a moment to say so and this movie was… meant for that. My mother always said you could never have too much butter. She, she believed that, It was her credo and it’s my credo.

One question: Why isn't the entire Ephron clan morbidly obese?

Julie Powell, in fact, had never eaten an egg, in her life… um, she’d eaten them in… as she says in this movie, in cakes, but she’d never eaten… just an egg all by itself. She also didn’t like… a number of other things, like pineapple, she never ate pineapple.

Even Nora thinks this little Julie Powell plotline is incredibly stupid and pointless--and she wrote it! Also, Julie Powell never ate pineapple. Okay. I'm really glad I know that now.

Um, this was a learning experience for her in many, many ways and until I made this movie, I didn’t know how to poach an egg either… I … my eggs always ended up breaking up horrible pieces, but now I know how to do it because I really followed the directions in Julia exactly.

Like, I was really looking forward to taking a break from just seeing the plain 'ol regular movie by watching the director's commentary instead, but I'm sorry to say--this just might be worse. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR POACHED EGGS, NORA EPHRON.

On the other hand, my idea of dinner is not eggs, but… that’s the only time she had to cook from this… book, so she ate eggs at night.
She does always seem to end these little 10-minute sequences with a killer line though. I'll give you that, Nor. Something I learned today: eating eggs at night is apparently a crime against humanity.


And just like that, we're 1/4 of our way through Nora Ephron's director's commentary on Julie & Julia. The verdict so far? JUST TURRIBLE.


Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "Never had an 'egg' egg."


  1. Oh, do shut up Nora Ephron, I LOVE eggs for dinner! I can't wait to hear what other gems she has in store for us.

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  2. love it. been reading for a while - consistently hilarious. congrats on blog of note!

  3. Lawrence, I think you need to try poaching an egg.

  4. dude, poaching an egg is mad easy! i am by no means a good cook, but was intimidated by the very idea (which was largely based on the infamous scene in this movie)! but i worked up the nerve and did it on the first try. you should try it, and make julie look dumb. (that's the whole point of this blog, right?)

  5. I listened to the commentary--voluntarily. I was underwhelmed. I guess since they're both older female writer/directors, I expected Nora Ephron to be more like Nancy Meyers. Unfortunately, that was a complete misconception, as Nancy Meyers is incredibly insightful and entertaining in her commentaries, and Nora Ephron sounds like she's half-asleep. Torture.

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