Friday, July 29, 2011

Day 242 - Fuck The Cordon Bleu

Day 242.

Given the nature of this blog and its super, super niche audience (people who've seen Julie & Julia/people who appreciate an endless barrage of jokes about a guy looking like Mark Ruffalo), I get a lot of various companies asking me to promote their products/services in this space. And I usually decline their offers--because ads aren't cool (Do you know what's cool? A billion dollars). But when the Cordon Bleu--yes, the very same Cordon Bleu so prominently featured in Julie & Julia--came knocking, I was inclined to respond.

Hi Lawrence,

I recently discovered your blog The Lawrence/ Julie & Julia Project, and found it to be very funny and well written. I couldn’t read all 239 posts, but what I did read made me laugh aloud, and I was impressed by both your single-mindedness, anarchic humour and clarity of expression. I work with Le Cordon Bleu, which I’m sure having seen this film as many times as you have done now, you definitely know about! I’m trying to get the word out on an amazing new scholarship which Le Cordon Bleu London is now offering - a life-changing opportunity for a young person aged 16-19 to study at the famed school and even get their accommodation paid for too! They don’t even need great technical skills, the ideas is that they bring the passion and Le Cordon Bleu will turn them into a great chef!

Would it be possible for you to please mention this on your blog? I would love to reach your audience, and feel as though this is the kind of opportunity many of them would find intriguing and appreciate learning about. Please find the press release attached. I have also included some publicity pics for you.

Looking forward to hearing from you, and continuing to enjoy the blog,

With best wishes,
David

Such a flattering email! A what a classy guy--that David. Such a cool opportunity too! A cooking scholarship for an aspiring young chef! What could be better than that? I'd absolutely love to plug your little press release here on the Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project, David. Oh, but there's one little thing that's been bugging me..

JUST LAST WEEK, I CALLED THE CORDON BLEU IN SAN FRANCISCO TO ASK IF IT WAS OKAY TO TAKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH COOKING CLASSES WHILE FULLY DRESSED IN JULIA CHILD DRAG AND FILM IT FOR THE BLOG AND YOU TOLD ME NO!!!

So fuck you, Le Cordon Bleu! It's nothing personal, David--but your sister branch in San Francisco deprived L/J&J readers of what was surely to be a great piece of performance art. So no, I will NOT run the press release (seen below) on this blog.


What? Just because I am a lowly blogger, you don't think I have integrity? This is a one-stop shop for quality Julie & Julia-related entertainment, David! There's no place for your aesthetically pleasing, carefully lit press photos of the Cordon Bleu (seen below) on this blog! I am not the media's whore, GODDAMMIT!


And there's ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I'm going to encourage all of my younger readers who may be interested in the culinary arts to check out this scholarship program and apply ASAP.

What do you think I am, a sellout?

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "Why don't I go to cooking school?"

8 comments:

  1. Well said, my dear man. Well said.

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  2. You are my hero.

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  3. Oh, you're a good guy. And someday you will probably be thankful that the San Fran branch said no to what may now seem like a totally reasonable request.

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  4. I think you could've just shown up to the cooking class as Julia and gone on as if it's your usual attire. Sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness rather than permission.

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