Friday, June 10, 2011

Day 193 - Moldy Onion

Day 193.

So I finally finished my sophomore year of college today (!) and I celebrated by watching my ritual Julie & Julia whilst I cleaned out my dorm room and packed up my stuff.


Solid Valentine's Day throwback.

I was moving around a lot of things and discovering old papers and odd knick-knacks I thought I had lost forever (as one does when one moves out of a dorm) when a fucking rancid scent began to waft through the room. And when I say rancid, I mean just straight up rotten ASS smell. It was the smell of death.

I began frantically searching for the source, hoping that I could do something to contain it as soon as possible when BAM! I realized what it was.

MOTHER
FUCKING
MOLDY
ASS
ONION

You guys remember my leftover onion, right? The one that's just been chilling in my room for at least three and a half months now? It started to grow weird green finger things awhile back and then when I tried to give it some sunlight, it just dried up? You know the one.


Well, it's super decomposed and mushy now, so that's kind of cool (but mostly just gross).

With its last dying breath, Moldy the Onion cursed the one known as "Julia the Destroyer."

I think I'm going to try and plant it in my backyard when I get home, though it might already be too late for little Moldy. Only time will tell. Or a botanist. But I don't know any botanists, so I'm just going to bury the fucker.

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "We've never really discussed what to do."

11 comments:

  1. I'm sure TSA will love that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope you read your comments, because onions don't grow in sunlight, silly. It's not like they have leaves to absorb sunrays. :)

    You should have kept it in a cool, damp place. :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. Onions - and garlic - do have leaves, actually. Have you never seen an onion plant before it's harvested? They have to absorb energy from the sun somehow, and since the bulb itself grows underground, that leaves (pun intended) something aboveground to do the trick. It's why onions and garlic and potatoes will send out green shoots as they use all the energy stored in the bulb or tuber itself: they're looking for another source.

    If the onion is squishy or feels very small when you squeeze it, just throw it on the compost pile. It will have too little of its internal energy left to send up shoots or last until the shoots it does create can get enough sun to sustain it. If it isn't, you can plant it, covering the bulb entirely, then divide the shoots (assuming there are multiple layers left in that thing) and plant those individually to have more onions at the end of the season.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Julia the Destroyer!

    ReplyDelete
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