Monday, June 6, 2011

Day 189 - Have I Memorized This Movie Yet?

Day 189.

It's a question I get all the time these days: "HEY LAWRENCE, DO YOU HAVE JULIE & JULIA COMPLETELY MEMORIZED BY NOW?!?! I MEAN YOU'VE SEEN IT SO MANY TIMES OMGSH HAHAHA RIGHT?!!?"

In my mind, all these people asking me look like Flo, the obnoxious spokeswoman for Progressive.

And I'll admit, though rather annoying, it is a valid question, albeit one with a rather complicated answer.

I mean, yes, I have the entirety of Julie & Julia memorized somewhere up in my head--all the scenes, the lines, the sounds, the music--fuck, I've had that in there since around Day 50, probably. I mean, I think it'd be pretty much impossible to watch any movie 50 times and not have it memorized in some form, right?

But here's where it gets tricky. I haven't been trying to memorize this movie at any point during my yearlong journey so far. In fact, I've been actively trying to suppress it. So while the film is unquestionably memorized, I've somehow buried it so far back in the depths of my mind that it's not really memorized at all, if that makes any sense...

What I'm saying is that it takes all the mental energy I have to contain any Julie & Julia-related material that may bubble up in my daily routine, so I'm really not too concerned with trying to memorize each and every scene word-for-word. I have to walk around pretending I'm a normal person, after all.

But then again, it's become such a part of me that the word "memorization" doesn't even seem to do it justice. I experience vivid Julie & Julia flashbacks, I dream about Julie & Julia at night, I've even mistakenly introduced myself to people as "Amanda Hesser from the New York Times."

This is who I am now.

At this point, watching Julie & Julia has become such an integral part of my daily routine that I can't imagine not watching it. I need to have my fix every day. And I fucking hate myself for it. I mean, I barely pay attention to it when it does play, but I just fucking need it to play.

I know heroin is supposed to be the most addictive drug, but at this point I'd rather shoot up a gallon (is that the proper unit of measurement for heroin?) of that shit than watch this movie again. And even though I'm telling you all this now, I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back at it--watching this goddamn movie again--just to feel something, you know?

So fuck you, people who ask if I've memorized Julie & Julia yet.
I don't have to memorize Julie & Julia--I LIVE JULIE & JULIA.

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "Oh God, you memorized it? How pathetic."

5 comments:

  1. I love that you've introduced yourself as Amanda Hesser. I've given the wrong name before but never crossed genders. Also, I'm a blonde, so I can get away with stupid answers to easy questions.

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  2. Theory: Lawrence starts with the QotD, and works backward from there.

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  3. You know though, I'm envisioning a really cool performance where you project Julie & Julia w/o sound and then you sit in front of it (in a director's chair natch) doing all the voices and music. A true personalization of the movie transmuted through your experience. I mean, you are only at the half way point, don't say it couldn't happen.

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  4. Sarah: that reminded me of "Wizard People, Dear Reader". (http://www.illegal-art.org/video/wizard.html you can search for it on youtube for examples) Lawrence, you should do something like that.

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  5. La ragione popolarità di ristorante milano è che essi presentano i pasti nel modo più fantasioso e creativo possibile. Ogni piatto è come un'opera d'arte per chef italiani. Sono gli unici ristoranti che producono le pizze da 20 pollici, che hanno respirato varie verdure diverse, frutti di mare, le spezie e carni che non si sarebbe nemmeno pensare di combinare.

    ReplyDelete