Guess who's coming to dinner, everyone! Hint: It's not Judith Jones. She is 87 years old.
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Judith Jones couldn't make it on account of her being fucking ancient. |
So about a month ago, I got a really nice email from a young blog reader named Sophie K. Now, not to brag or anything, but I get a lot of really nice emails from a lot of readers. But as I started reading, I slowly began to realize that this one was different.
Hello Lawrence,My initial response? "What the fuck? 13-year-olds read my blog!?! Shit! I didn't know that! Dammit, I swear way too much to be read by 13-year-olds! Fuck! Did I swear that much when I was 13? Shit, I think I did. I'm a fucking terrible role model. God, I sure as hell hope I'm not anybody's role model. Ass!"
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sophie. I am thirteen, to be fourteen in June, and I am a BIG fan of the blog. I first heard about you on Good Food, yes that podcast interview you bombed (and let me say, your radio personality is very different than your blog personality, I was quite surprised.) I know you must be thinking that I am a little strange, I listen to a food podcast, and by the way I happen to LOVE Julie & Julia, and I am only a teenager. But let me get to my point. I happen to live in Evanston, Illinois. So, I was wondering if you could have a Evanston fans viewing party. (If it was in your dormroom, my dad said my mom would have to come with me.) But instead of it being me, you, and my mom, maybe you could do a big screening, and invite people to watch with you. Or you could even come to my house. Anyways, that is what I wanted to say, so thank you for your time.
--Sophie K.
But then I reread the email and went "Awwwwww" like a rational person. "Thassss so sweeeet" (in a not-at-all creepy voice). Anywho, I didn't give her invitation much thought at first, because, well, what kind of college kid invites 13-year-old girls to come to their dorm to watch a movie with them? Soon-to-be-incarcerated college kids, that's who. Then Sophie sent me this:
In a follow up to my previous email, my mother said she would prefer you come to my house and she would cook you a nice dinner and you could watch the movie with my family, It would be very fun. Please take it into consideration.Collective "Awwwwww" from everyone reading this. But there was still some trepidation on my side. I mean, the email could not be more adorable/obviously written by a 13-year-old, but maybe it was too adorable... you know, this could easily be some sort of trap set by one of those internet predators you hear so much about, right? Again, what kind of guy would willingly go to the house of someone he's never met and who he's only communicated with via email? Oh, wait.
--Sophie K.
THIS GUY. |
Now, for your viewing enjoyment, I present to you the first part of a video diary of The Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project's first reader visit, entitled "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?"
Check back later for Part 2 - The Dinner! (to be posted sometime in the near future)
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Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "Well, since no one guessed my mystery guest, I'm going to have to tell you all."
DAI FOR THE CAUSE!! of putting out fires
ReplyDeleteDude, can you come over to my house for dinner? My mom will make you whatever you want, and we can have a sleepover if you want????
ReplyDeleteI <3 the Internets.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome. She seems like a really sweet, genuine, nice girl. Good for you for going
ReplyDeleteI can one-up the weird factor- I also live in Chicago AND was in Vegas at the same time you were (not in a weird looking through your window way, though. I didn't realize it until I got home and caught up on your blog because, well, let's face it, who wants to drown in Julie and Julia in VEGAS, BABY!? No offense.)
ReplyDeleteI second a fan viewing party, maybe a special send off for your fans' support on the last viewing?
"I thought your blog was hilarious."
ReplyDelete"Really? Thanks, I'm glad you got it."
"I tried to find it. I've actually not read your blog, but I thought the idea was hilarious."
"I thought your blog was hilarious."
Delete"Really? Thanks, I'm glad you got it."
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Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that
Marvelous! You remind me of myself, that is, had Norman Mineta raped my mother.
ReplyDelete"I'm just glad I'm not dead yet." Nice one, Lawrence.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I TOTALLY second Abe Froman (nice Bueller reference) and think we should have a send off for the 365th viewing.
This is all very sweet and all, but I hope in part 2 she cuts off your skin and wears it like a coat.
ReplyDeleteAlso, was there someone named "Yo-yo" visiting? I thought that's what the mom said, but I couldn't tell.
I keep worrying about whether or not you get to have a glass of wine. I hope so. I like the presents, and it looks like a fun group.
ReplyDeleteYou are super cute and sweet... the family on the other hand has issues. I think the fact that their 13 year old daughter wrote you was a cry for help.
ReplyDeletePs... mad respect for putting out the fire. You were so calm in the face of danger.
is lawrence over 21? i also want to commend you for your braveness in the face of danger (table fire). Im super jealous that I don't live in Evanston! I bet you'll be getting loads of requests to come over for dinner now, though.
ReplyDeletePoor Lawrence. You were so awkward! (I know it's not your fault, you were surrounded by strangers who were creepily welcoming) But maybe next time less mentioning of murderers or raping 13 year olds...just a thought.
ReplyDeletethis guy!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou can cut the awkwardness in that room with a knife, lol.
ReplyDeleteRE: the Anon comment above
ReplyDeleteHear hear!
"I'm just glad I'm not dead yet"
"HAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHA....."
"He's brought her presents....!" *snigger*
etc.
But they do look lovely. If you come to London let me know and we can have a very pissed/stoned viewing.
Wow, this video made my day, especially the fire and the "To Catch A Predator" references. Thank you for being so awesome.
ReplyDeleteLawrence!! I think that for your 365th viewing (if you gain enough widespread fame by then) you could probably get a movie theater to play it so you can watch it for the last time with fans surrounding you!!
ReplyDeletealso, you never posted onion-bombs. I did a really funny one.
Lawrence!! I think that for your 365th viewing (if you gain enough widespread fame by then) you could probably get a movie theater to play it so you can watch it for the last time with fans surrounding you!!
ReplyDeletealso, you never posted onion-bombs. I did a really funny one.
I enjoyed the macho "who took a bigger risk" contest:
ReplyDelete'I was worried you were going to fatten me up and, y'know, like, axe-murder me'
'Well WE were worried you were trying to have sex with our 13 year old daughter'
'ha ha ha'
awkward accusations all round.
hope dinner was wizard.
This is so great! We all loved it and can't wait for the next part.
ReplyDeleteKudos to Sophie. I'm going to invite everyone I follow on the internet to have dinner with me now!
ReplyDeleteExcept you, Lawrence. Don't want you to get spoiled.
This is amazing! That video was hilariously awkward! The power of the internet!
ReplyDeleteLawrence if you are ever in the Dallas area, you are totally welcome to come to dinner at my place! I'll make you something out of The Art of Mastering French Cooking!
Wow....douche chilllllll
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I feel really overjoined that you had nice time together. By the way, in case you have the need for custom essay for the reasonabvle price, be sure you order it from this link cause they are known to be the best in it.
ReplyDeleteOh, be careful with your words... All that you write can read 13-teen years old girls...=)) By the way, if your other 13-teen years old fans want to get professional essay help, I recommend them to order college papers online at best-essays-writers.com!
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