Monday, May 16, 2011

Day 168 - What Would The Childs' Child Look Like?

Day 168.

If you've seen Julie & Julia before (as I have), you'll undoubtedly remember the moment when Julia receives the news that her sister Dorothy is pregnant. She's clearly very happy for her sister, but also completely devastated because she knows that she will never be able to bear children of her own. It's tricky dramatic territory to navigate, filled with complex emotions, but Meryl fucking nails it.

DAMNNN, this shit is definitely going on mah Oscar reel. --Meryl Streep.
Still, though--you can't help but wonder what if... you know, what if Julia's hips were capable of rearin' young'uns? What if her uterus were as fertile as the Nile River Delta? What if her ovaries burned with the intense virility of 10,000 Kate Gosselins? What if her eggs were fresh enough to make omelets? I just gotta know--what would the Childs' child look like?

Thanks to the incredibly advanced technology at, we need not wonder anymore!

I wish I had come up with this website instead of this stupid fucking blog.

Okay, so first we upload the mother...

And here comes Daddy...

Then they do the nasty...

...and out pops...

Actually, that's not as bad as I thought it'd be. That is like sort of a normal-looking baby, right? I mean except for the alien-shaped head and oddly vacant devil-child eyes. They probably shouldn't have airbrushed him that much. Yeesh. Yeah, so that is the Childs' child. Kind of a disappointment if you ask me. I was hoping for a half-bald, half-mustachioed giant monster woman.

And just for fun...

I like how they have a special category for Asian babies.


Am I the long lost Asian son of Julia and Paul Child?!? I will definitely look into this...


Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "I was a very willful child."


  1. Those children have abnormally small mouths.

  2. I like to imagine that the last bit is completely serious and Lawrence is picking up Julie Powell's obsession with Julia Child by osmosis

  3. I think that would be so meta that the universe would fold in on itself.

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