Saturday, May 7, 2011

Day 159 - Onion Status Report

Day 159.

For those of you eagerly tracking the the status and well-being of my onion, I would advise you to seriously think about re-prioritizing your life. But if you're still here, I guess I better show you this:

ONIONZZZ

Yes, it has grown considerably since its last appearance on the blog. But sadly enough, now it appears to be dying for some reason. I can't imagine why, really. I mean, it was growing just fine when I forgot about it and left it in a plastic bag underneath a chair. How could it be that after I moved it to a place by the window in the sunlight, it starts to die?

You make no sense to me, botany.




What am I doing wrong here, people? Do I have to water it? Plant it in soil? Feed it a drop of my blood so it develops a taste for human flesh? Who let me be in charge of another life like this? I am not a responsible adult! I am a blogger!

Seriously though, I can't afford to buy like, a pot or something. I've already blown all my blog money on dog races. So really, what am I supposed to do with this onion?!?

Someone please tell me. We're running out of time.

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Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "Here, you must cut only the onion. Yes?"
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12 comments:

  1. Sorry, young chap. Your best bet is soil and water.

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  2. Actually, just put it in a clod, dark space. Root veggies don't like sunlight/warmth.

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  3. Am in the Julia Child's kitchen exhibit at the Smithsonian right now. Two middle-aged white guys are talking about "that movie with the red-headed girl who brought butter here." I didn't bring any butter . . . . Maybe you could bring your onion?

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  4. for goodness sakes, Lawrence. i'm practically a plant expert why did you let this plant die...murderer

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  6. I like Amy's suggestion: an onion offering.

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  7. Plant it outside. Stealth onion-planting!

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  8. put it back under your chair! a cold dark place is almost like planting it in the ground

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  9. I vote for Amy's idea. It would be a fitting tribute.

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  10. Put it somewhere dark, and I think it deserves frequent status updates; maybe you should also name it, that might help. Something French, like Balzac (heh, no really, that's a real name)

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  11. I like the following suggestions:

    1. Tribute gift.
    2. Give it its own twitter account.

    ReplyDelete

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