Saturday, May 7, 2011

Day 159 - Onion Status Report

Day 159.

For those of you eagerly tracking the the status and well-being of my onion, I would advise you to seriously think about re-prioritizing your life. But if you're still here, I guess I better show you this:

ONIONZZZ

Yes, it has grown considerably since its last appearance on the blog. But sadly enough, now it appears to be dying for some reason. I can't imagine why, really. I mean, it was growing just fine when I forgot about it and left it in a plastic bag underneath a chair. How could it be that after I moved it to a place by the window in the sunlight, it starts to die?

You make no sense to me, botany.




What am I doing wrong here, people? Do I have to water it? Plant it in soil? Feed it a drop of my blood so it develops a taste for human flesh? Who let me be in charge of another life like this? I am not a responsible adult! I am a blogger!

Seriously though, I can't afford to buy like, a pot or something. I've already blown all my blog money on dog races. So really, what am I supposed to do with this onion?!?

Someone please tell me. We're running out of time.

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "Here, you must cut only the onion. Yes?"

14 comments:

  1. Sorry, young chap. Your best bet is soil and water.

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  2. Actually, just put it in a clod, dark space. Root veggies don't like sunlight/warmth.

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  3. Am in the Julia Child's kitchen exhibit at the Smithsonian right now. Two middle-aged white guys are talking about "that movie with the red-headed girl who brought butter here." I didn't bring any butter . . . . Maybe you could bring your onion?

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  4. for goodness sakes, Lawrence. i'm practically a plant expert why did you let this plant die...murderer

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  5. I like Amy's suggestion: an onion offering.

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  6. Plant it outside. Stealth onion-planting!

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  7. put it back under your chair! a cold dark place is almost like planting it in the ground

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  8. I vote for Amy's idea. It would be a fitting tribute.

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  9. Put it somewhere dark, and I think it deserves frequent status updates; maybe you should also name it, that might help. Something French, like Balzac (heh, no really, that's a real name)

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  10. I like the following suggestions:

    1. Tribute gift.
    2. Give it its own twitter account.

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  11. نحتاج الى تنظيف الخزان بصفة دورية للحفاظ على الماء نقيا وذلك بالتعرف على افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة تقدم افضل الخدمات الجيدة في تنظيف وتعقيم الخزانات ولكي يتم تعقيم المنزل من الأفضل ان تقوم بعمل مكافحة للحشرات بواسطة ارخص شركه مكافحه حشرات بجده التي تتعامل في مكافحة الحشرات وتستخدم مبيدات آمنة ومضمونة

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