Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Day 148 - Random Actor Tuesday: Jamie D. Hall

Day 148.

Jamie D. Hall is probably a good person. He probably has loving parents, a crazy uncle, maybe even a sibling or two. He probably had a normal childhood growing up and studied real hard in school. He probably skinned his knees playing kickball at recess and is still ashamed to admit that he bawled like a baby. He probably had his first kiss in 8th grade with a girl named Wendy in the basement of a mutual friend's, but lies about it and says it happened in 6th. He probably has had his fair share of relationships--both good and bad--and maybe, just maybe found the right girl, fell in love and settled down and raised a family of his own. What I'm getting at here is that Jamie D. Hall has probably lived a fulfilling life.

It's just too bad that the only thing Jamie D. Hall will ever be remembered for is his role as "Cheese Guy" in Julie & Julia.

Jamie D. Hall

Cheese Guy.

That's the inherently sad and tragic thing about a lot of the actors featured in Random Actor Tuesday--they are all real people and lead real lives--yet all we ever see them for is their bit parts playing not second, not third, not fourth, or even fifth... but 64th fiddles to the real movie stars.

I don't even know if Jaime D. Hall even wanted to be a real actor--his "Cheese Guy" role seems to be the only one on his imdb page (where they also spell his name incorrectly). And it doesn't look like he has any projects coming up in the near future. This saddens me. Does Hollywood really not have room for the Jamie D. Halls of this world? The guys with killer facial expressions and expert cheese-handling skills? Surely there must be a few  other movies in need of cheese guys!

Here is some cheese for you, Amy Adams!
And this cheese! You can tell it's unique by the surprised look on my face!
Just wait 'till you get home to cut it--get it? Cut the cheese!
HAHAHAHAHA, I, JAIME D. HALL, AM TOO HILARIOUS!

And the worst part of it all is how they don't even embellish his role title or make it sound important at all--"Cheese Guy." Not something cool like "Cheddar Peddler" or "Duke of Limberger." Just "Cheese Guy." At least all of the other food vendors in this film get credited with way more glamorous titles: Fish Monger, Fruit Store Owner, Baker's Wife, to name a few. But no, Jamie D. Hall got stuck with "Cheese Guy." I be he would've killed to be be known as the Baker's Wife! How humiliating.

Jamie D. Hall is probably a really nice guy. He probably hosts dinner parties where he and his friends talk about recent movies starring Meryl Streep, Amy Adams and Stanley Tucci. During these dinner parties, he probably works up the courage to chime in and say, "Hey, I was in a movie with those guys! I was in Julie & Julia!" His friends are probably all super impressed by this, as they're all just lowly accountants and HR reps at the local toothbrush factory. He probably feels really proud of himself for a split second before one of his friends asks him "What part did you play?"

"Cheese guy," he probably responds with a heavy sigh, as he shamefully looks down at the scattered peas on his plate. "Just the cheese guy."

After he puts the kids to bed, he probably hangs himself in the living room. He probably does not leave a note. He probably had nothing left to say.

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "You're gonna love that one."

8 comments:

  1. This is one of my favourite posts so far. Bravo.

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  2. It's amazing how much you can tell about a man by the way he hands over a piece of cheese.

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  3. I wonder if any of these random actors ever read these posts while googling themselves..

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  4. I really hope at least one random actor will read one of these... then he/she will feel special :)

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  5. You said it all, man. You said it all.

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  6. Hey, I remember Jamie as a young boy. He and his family lived in the same little village as we did and attended the same church. I have videos of Jamie, his siblings and my children all singing in the choir and doing church holiday skits.

    At least he shall be known as the Cheese Guy - I was an extra in a film with Matt Damon and Anna Pacquin, called Margaret (still waiting for the release). I was not even given a title...just audience member! Bravo Jamie.

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  7. Actually.. His name is spelled correctly on his imdb page. You're the one who keeps misspelling it. JAIME. He's a good person, a great friend, and an incredible performer.

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  8. Lawrence,

    Here's how I imagine a conversation going with you and your right hand as you watch Julie and Julia for the 256th time....

    LAWRENCE: Wow....that Stanley Tucci is really talented!
    HAND: he's okay.....kinda the same bald dude in every other movie he does.
    LAWRENCE: what are you talking about? He's great! Have you seen The Core? Awesome.
    HAND: The Core? Really? Out of his entire filmography, THAT is what defines him as an accomplished actor? What about Pelican Brief? Or a Midsummer Nights Dream? Lovely Bones?
    LAWRENCE: Nah........The Core....that's where he peaked.
    HAND: PEAKED? Really? What basis do you have to say that? What could POSSIBLY have given you that idea?
    LAWRENCE: Well, I'm a college student.....in journalism.......so obviously, I must know SOMETHING.....maybe I'm even an expert!
    HAND: Out of the mouths of morons.....
    LAWRENCE: what did you say?
    HAND: ...........nothing......
    ¤ SILENCE ¤
    LAWRENCE: Wanna beat off to Chris Messina?
    HAND: *sigh* Again?

    Sincerely,
    The Duke of Limberger

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