Friday, April 1, 2011

Day 123 - A Confession

Day 123.

I have a confession to make. Though I may have led you to believe otherwise in these past 122 days, I have never seen the movie Julie & Julia.


I know, I know--but how is this possible, Lawrence? You've waxed philosophical on this movie so many times! You've delved into every minute detail and pointed out every flaw that you disagree with! And all of that disdain for Julie Powell! Of course you've seen this movie before!

Nope. Faked it all. 

It's really not as hard as you'd think--you internet blog readers can be pretty shortsighted sometimes. I mean, this entire blog has pretty much just been random screenshots and stupid captions. Plus, a "Not Mark Ruffalo" joke thrown in every so often for good measure. Allow me to demonstrate.

Lobsters are hilarious!
Meryl Streep sex scenes are hilarious!
This guy is Not Mark Ruffalo--hilarious!

See? Piece of cake. You're laughing right now, I can tell. And how much of Julie & Julia did I actually have to watch in order to do this? None. None Julie & Julia.

To be perfectly honest, I don't even take the screenshots. My hispanic intern Raoul actually does that for me--he just picks random spots in the movie and shows me the stills so I can pull something out of my ass and rub it all over the page. It takes like, 5 minutes, tops. And half the time, the Julie & Julia Quote of the Day isn't even from Julie & Julia. Most of those I just pull from the Terminator movies.

I apologize if you feel betrayed in any way at all, but honestly? You guys are pretty stupid to think that I've watched this movie every day, when in fact, I haven't even seen it once.

Look at this. It is from that movie you guys like.
I guess that proves that I've seen it...


But don't be too upset--it's not like I've just been wasting all this time when I was supposedly having daily viewings of Julie & Julia.

In order to keep up the guise, I've just been secretly watching Freddy Got Fingered every day.

Man, that part where Freddy gets fingered is fucking hilarious!

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Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "He single-handedly won the war for us."

28 comments:

  1. YO LAWRANCE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D BETRAY ME LIKE THIS DUDE MOTHERFUCKER WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS HURTS SO BAD BUT IT HURTS SO GOOOOOOD

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  2. some might say you deserve to be punished for this betrayal, but I think watching Freddy Got Fingered every day - even voluntarily, god help you - would be a violation of the 8th Amendment! ... I implore you all, let's give this man some proper movies straight away! I know the next time I see a duck, I will debone it then and there without hesitation and not bitch about it ... thank you for your needless but enjoyable sacrifice sir, I've enjoyed the lobster faces and the stiffcockgasms!

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  3. Totaly April fools. I don't believe anybody on April the 1st, sorry.

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  4. I was just going to say essentially what Dolores did.
    If you want anyone to take something like this seriously. You should be smart enough not to post it on April Fools. That kinda goes for any kind of announcement.

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  5. Wait...this is for fans of the movie?

    ReplyDelete
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