Sunday, March 27, 2011

Day 118 - Julie Powell is Lois Lane

Day 118.

Or rather, Amy Adams (who plays Julie in the film) was cast as Lois Lane in the new Zack Snyder Superman movie today. This is pretty big news, considering that speculation had been running wild about who would play the part up until now. I'm glad that Adams got the role and I think she'll probably do a good job with it, but I can't help but shake that awful image of Julie Powell as Lois Lane.

Ughhhh

According to E! Online, Synder released a statement saying:
“Second only to Superman himself, the question of who will play Lois Lane is arguably what fans have been most curious about. So we are excited to announce the casting of Amy Adams, one of the most versatile and respected actresses in films today. Amy has the talent to capture all of the qualities we love about Lois: smart, tough, funny, warm, ambitious and, of course, beautiful.”
Too bad Julie Powell is none of these things. For all of our sakes, let's just hope it's Enchanted-Amy Adams or The Fighter-Amy Adams who shows up on the set of this Superman reboot and not Julie & Julia-Amy Adams. I can only imagine what would happen if the actual Julie Powell had her crack at the iconic role of Lois Lane...


Superman flies up onto a skyscraper rooftop where he finds Ju-Lois Pow-Lane chained to a large pole.

Superman: Lois! Thank God, you're alright. General Zod is going to be here in no time so...
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: I can't fucking believe you, Superman.
Superman: What?
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: Oh, don't you even try to play this game with me.
Superman: What game? I'm here to save you!
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: Oh don't you give me that "damsel-in-distress" bullshit. You know damn well that I was supposed to finish the last of the aspics today. How the hell am I supposed to make my deadline if I've been stuck up here for almost two hours!
Superman: Well, I'm sorry honey, but I was a little busy fighting off--
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: Fighting off what? Devoted blog readers? Yeah, uh, no, I don't think so. You're so self-centered sometimes! God, they're going to be so disappointed when they find out.
Superman (sarcastically): Yeah, they'll probably kill themselves or something. Take poison.
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: Like, they'd be really upset if I didn't write.
Superman (muttered under his breath): They'd also be upset if they were enslaved by General Zod.
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: What was that?!
Superman: Uhhh, nothing... I was just... saying how I should buy you a real pearl necklace sometime...
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: You're a saint.
Superman: No, actually, we've been through this a couple of times already. I am the last son of Krypton, marooned here on Earth to protect...
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: Oh stop it, sainted husband. Now get me out of here so we can go home and I can show you my new lemon zester.
Superman (with a sly grin): Does that mean what I think it means?
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: Ewww, no. Gross! I was just going to complain more about our crappy apartment and my shithead friends and how I want to be a bridesmaid in Julia Child's wedding in 1946...
Superman: On second thought, I think I'm just going to leave you here... 
Ju-Lois Pow-Lane: What? Dammit, Superman! I'm going to blog about this, you know!

Superman uses his X-ray vision to see through Ju-Lois Pow-Lane's clothes, as he frustratedly tries to masturbate over her loud, incessant whining. 

Superman: I should've married Meryl while I had the chance. 

***

Reminder: Elite Eight matchups are due tomorrow! Send your ballots to lawrenceandjulieandjulia@gmail.com

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Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "It's 40 years later and no one can touch her."

12 comments:

  1. I thoroughly enjoyed that

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  2. EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
    Please no more erotic Julie and Julia / Superman fanfics.
    I didn't even know that was a thing.

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  3. @#2

    Um. Don't go google Topless Robot's Fan Fiction Friday then.

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  4. Does anyone remember that episode when Amy Adams was on Smallville and she ate a whole deer or something?

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  5. That episode's called "Craving"

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  6. hahahaha so funny.

    Side note: Lawrence, how many readers do you have on average per post?

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  7. Meryl should play Superman. It would be realistic and adorable.

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  8. i was so excited to read this and follow you since i am a big fan of julie & julia but then i changed my mind. sorry, i'm not a fan of blogs filled with 'f' bombs. good luck with your blog.

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  9. ...ouch, Lawrence (@Antoinette). oh well- fuck 'em.

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  10. A new and creative use of Superman's powers. I approve :).

    Slan agus pog mo thon, tu amadan as Meirica,

    Lauren

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