Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 101 - Fun Things You Can Do With Onions!

Day 101.

Today, I got all sorts of weird looks from people in my classes and I just can't imagine why. I mean, I'm pretty sure I was wearing pants. I even checked to see if my fly was open or I had something on my face. I don't think I've ever had a B.O. problem before... maybe I should switch deodorants just to be safe. It's either that, or get rid of the 30-lb. bag of onions that are just chilling in my room.


Nah, that's probably not it. I'm almost positive switching deodorants will solve the problem.

Anyways, many of you have been asking what I plan on doing with all these onions. Surely, I can't throw them away and let all that food go to waste! Of course not! Your donations bought me those onions and I would never let your generous contributions to the Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project be for naught.

Which is why I now present to you... FUN THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ONIONS!!!


Put them in a cup!
Keep that cup insulated!
Spill them all over the floor while trying to keep them insulated!
Us them to piss off your suitemate Joe!
Put them in a drinking fountain!

Put them in the shower!
Put them in the bathtub!
Put them in the sink!
Put them in the toilet!
(after unsuccessfully trying to rinse them down the sink)
Flush them!
Flushing!
Flushed!
Use them to piss off your suitemate Ravi!
Put them on the stairs!
Put them in front of an elevator!
Put them in the change thing of a payphone!
Draw on them with a Sharpie!
Use them to do math!
Make them look like a butt!
Convert them into packer fans!
Teach them how to be cool!
Microwave them!
See them after they get microwaved!
Watch the Northwestern-Minnesota basketball game with them!
Awkwardly move them around the hallway!
Use the patented yawn/arm over shoulder move to seduce them!
Seduce them!
Seduced!
Make your own version of French Onion Soup! (instant miso + onions)
Eat them!
Oh, and I also watched Julie & Julia again. I thought that was a given, but apparently people still need to hear me say it. Nothing really new to report. Same as always. Having it on DVD is pretty cool.

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Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "Here you must cut only the onion. Yes?"

29 comments:

  1. I laughed at almost all of these

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  2. Your onions aren't very good at math because I'm pretty sure 1+1 does not equal boobs. Teach your onions better math!

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  3. so.... did you watch J&J today?

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  4. HILARIOUS. But you didn't actually talk about watching the film.. Yes, the L/J&J police are here.. Awkward.

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  5. I like how your onions got seduced while in the shape of a butt... hehe!

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  6. Good God, that is a lot of onions. I can't even cut up one without ruining my eyes.

    Also: hilarious.

    Also: I am disturbed at the image of you seducing the bag of onions. Don't take it personally. I would be disturbed at the image of anyone seducing a bag of onions.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You know that image of you seducing a bag of onions will haunt you when you're rich and famous...

    The upside - after reading 101 posts, you seducing a bag of onions finally forced me to comment. Love your posts! Hang in there!

    Kath
    Melbourne, Australia

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  8. I have never been so glad I don't live with you (not that I've ever met you).

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  9. loved posts 100-104! Yay!

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  10. OMG we have so many onions and we are really stuck with how to deal with them, your blog has been invaluable and we will be putting your wise advice into practise ASAP. praise the onions.

    ReplyDelete
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