Monday, February 21, 2011

Day 84 - President's Day

Day 84.

Happy President's Day, everyone! Believe it or not, President's Day is one of my all-time favorite holidays. Mostly because of this video.

 

And speaking of Washington-esque awesomeness, you guys came out in droves to give me money for some reason!!! Well, not exactly, but I was really surprised and incredibly thankful all the donations I have received so far--these past 24 hours have just felt like an endless golden shower, if you know what I mean (you know, a golden shower--when you come into a lot of unexpected income and you feel as though someone is showering you with gold?). And special thanks to readers Guan Y., Penelope H., and Marta K., who all made substantial contributions to the Lawrence/Julie & Julia Donation Fund. I will endow many scholarships in your guys' names once I become richest Julie & Julia blogger on the net.

And also, I cannot keep blogging without thanking the super generous Hosting Matters, Inc., for donating an exorbitant amount of dough to some snot-nosed punkass college kid with no ties to their company whatsoever. I mean, maybe their strategy was to guilt me into plugging their website, but it sure as hell worked, didn't it? That's right, kids--put all of your faith into large, faceless corporations--they are the ones who will always have your backs.

And finally, fuck you Donald B. and Giacomo B. Not that I don't appreciate your donations of 50¢ and 1¢, respectively. I actually think they are kind of funny. It's just that after PayPal takes their cut, that 50¢ becomes 19¢ and that 1¢ becomes 0¢. In other words, donating that kind of money makes no cents at all.

So yeah, I know that there will be/has already been some backlash about me "begging for money" and selling out, but like I said--don't feel obligated to GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY. The button TO YOUR LEFT will always be there if you want to SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION, but I know that all of you guys can go pretty much anywhere else on the internet for quality snark/entertainment and that I should be (and am) incredibly grateful that you even read my nonsense in the first place. Basically, you shouldn't feel obligated to DONATE TO MY BLOG at all. 

Seriously, I'm just happy that you guys are willing to spend 5-10 minutes out of your busy days to visit me in my little semi-insane Julie & Julia-centric world. You can't put a price* on how grateful I am to you all, my faithful readers.

*Unless we're talking, like, multiple figures

Also, The Julie/Julia Awards! This Saturday, Februrary 26th! Send in your ballots today! lawrenceandjulieandjulia@gmail.com

***

Jesus, that was a lot of long-winded bullshit. Sorry about that. Onwards to today's actual post--on this federal holiday celebrating America's most badass presidents (sorry, James Buchanan), let us reflect upon how U.S. presidents have affected the lives of Julia Child and Julie Powell.

Julia Child - Born during the back end of the Taft administration, JC was immediately introduced into a culture where it was normal for a man to be so fat that he got stuck in the White House bathtub. I don't think we have to think too hard about where she got her love of food from (she got it from Taft, idiots).


Julia Child then lived through the political terms of Woodrow Wilson, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge and Herbert Hoover, who all fucking sucked as presidents (I assume this because I did not pay attention in U.S. history in high school). Then, along came FD-Fucking-R, or FDFR, as I like to call him.

Petting dogs, petting kids. Just 'notha day for FDFR. What a fucking boss.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt was instrumental as a role model in Julie Child's life. He showed her that you could be a great influential leader no matter how wheelchair-ridden and/or Polio-infected you were. Julia Child was neither one of these things, but she was a woman, which kind of sucked back then.

Oh yeah, and FDR was also the president who made Julia Child a spy. Now, I haven't touched much upon the Childs' spywork yet on this blog (though I plan to), but let me just say that the movie often brushes over these important facts in favor of showing more food porn. I mean, really? Who wouldn't want to watch Meryl Streep kicking ass and taking names as part of the CIA? Missed opportunity if I ever saw one.

Meryl Streep, laughing at the tears of her enemies' families (She had previously decapitated aforementioned enemies).

Julie Powell - Julie's case is rather interesting, by which I mean I don't give a shit about the presidents that have influenced her life. I can say, however, that there is this weird post-9/11 storyline that is weaved into her narrative to accomplish... what, I can't say. But it's there. And George W. Bush was somewhat involved in the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation, the company that Julie worked for.

What people think of when they think of Julie & Julia?

So yeah, I don't know. I feel like 9/11 was a national travesty that was a lot more devastating and impactful than the movie Julie & Julia would have you believe, but I'm really not sure what it all means in the grand scheme of things. The Julie & Julia - 9/11 connection definitely deserves a closer look (in a future post). But at least there's no denying that Julie Powell and Dubya are inextricably linked--if not by politics, then by stupid-looking faces.

And so, we come to an end to Julie & Julia and the presidents that affected them. Kind of interesting, I guess. Oh, and also, Stephen Colbert claims that President Obama is "the Meryl Streep of Presidents." I rest my fucking case.

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "He single-handedly won the war for us."

11 comments:

  1. "Who wouldn't want to watch Meryl Streep kicking ass and taking names as part of the CIA? Missed opportunity if I ever saw one."

    Meryl Streep plays an ass-kicking CIA official in Rendition (2007). Opportunity not missed.

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  2. I think that you should write an entry and cast who will be playing you and your friends in the unavoidable movie being made about this blog. That would be wonderful, especially if Meryl Streep played you.

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  3. Not "presidents day," just plain old "Washington's Birthday."

    http://www.snopes.com/holidays/presidents/presidentsday.asp

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  4. The 50 cent donation made perfect sense, it got my name mentioned and now I'm famous too!

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  5. If you like Brad Neely's George Washington video, I highly encourage you to check out his "Wizard People, Dear Readers," his dubbing over Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, if you have not seen it yet. It's pretty life changing

    http://www.illegal-art.org/video/wizard.html

    ReplyDelete
  6. No, no, no Jackondevon - Meryl had like 10 minutes of camera time in Rendition - one of her worst movies, but not her fault. She kicked some ass in The River Wild, though.

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  7. Well, not exorbitant, but enough to keep you in munchies for a bit while you watch, post, rinse, repeat. Thanks for the company mention, though, that was an unexpected bonus (although we're not huge and faceless, even though I would gladly sacrifice my face falling off if it would take this stupid head cold with it).

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