Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 73 - No, Fuck YOU, Stanley Tucci

Day 73.

Stanley Tucci, as we all know, plays Julia's flawless, not-a-homosexual, super supportive husband, Paul, in Julie & Julia. The man can really do no wrong. He's smart, he's talented, he's politically conscious, he's not a homosexual--what more could you possibly ask for in a man?


Well, for starters, how about someone who isn't giving me the finger right now? Yeah, that's right, Tucci--I've been onto you for awhile now. There's no way out of this one. You've been caught in the fucking act, sir. The passive-aggressive "Oh, look at me, I'm the best husband ever, but I'm just going to flip you the bird when you're not looking" bit doesn't fool me for a second.

Flip me off with that gaudy ring, why don't cha? Fucking dickweed.

That is an incredibly vulgar and offensive gesture, Mr. Tucci. And this whole time, I thought Julie & Julia was just another inoffensive culinary feel-good film. And don't give me that "I was just tasting my wife's frosting" excuse. I'm pretty sure that the index finger (colloquially known as the "pointer") is the officially designated appendage for all matters regarding the act of "tasting," including but not limited to chocolate frosting. So you clearly had to go out of your way to deliberately flip off the entire audience. And though everyone else may think you're the bee's pajamas and the cat's knees, you won't be pulling any wool over my eyes today. I see you for who you truly are. In short...

Fuck YOU, Stanley Tucci.

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "Fuck them."

18 comments:

  1. ..hmm, is there something personal between you and the Tuchster? I've noted from day one that you're not too fond of him. I can kind of see where you're coming from, not a huge fan of Stan either but...can't think of how to finish this sentence because I'm a little inebriated. No matter, apart from some reservations about your S.T loathing, loving your work! Keep it up.

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  2. check out NMR in that crappy 90's movie, 54. Small part.


    MY

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  3. People who pick their noses with their pointers usually use the middle for tasting food. Not that I know about such matters.

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  4. Looks like he's wearing a big colorful ring too to bring even more attention while he's flipping everyone off.

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  5. Hmm. These last two posts have both been about you noticing very minor background details and finding them important enough to write a post on. Don't get me wrong, they were both awesome, but... look, don't go mental, okay? We're worried about you.

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  6. Some people really are satirically challenged, aren't they?

    Keep it up. I watched Julie & Julia the other day again and finally realized that Linda Emond (Simca) is one of the few people to have been in all four original Law & Order franchise shows (Law & Order, L&O: SVU, L&O: Criminal Intent, and L&O: Trial by Jury).

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  7. I believe we can all take a lesson from Cee-lo (sans Muppets)...it's "Forget" you! :-)

    This entry has had me snickering all morning, and I just had to say something.

    Keep on rockin' the remote, Big L!

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  8. That's a fucken Italian. He should be shot dead.

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