Friday, January 21, 2011

Day 53 - Julie & Julia Reimagined: As Robots

Day 53.

So far, I've re-envisioned what Julie & Julia would've been like if it starred some Mexican guy named Julio, as well as what if the two leads were played by dinosaurs. Today, we'll explore a world where Julia Child is played by the famous robo-actress Juliabot-XR3000 instead of the ebullient Meryl Streep.

***

Julie Powell: Let's face it--I am not Julia Child. Julia Child never lost her temper just because something boiled over, or collapsed in the oven, or just plain fell through.

Flash-forward 1000 years into the future. Juliabot-XR3000 watches over the barren wasteland that was once earth.

Juliabot-XR3000 (robot voice): *Bzzztt* JULIA... CHILD... *Boop Boop* NEVER... LEARNED... TO... *beep* LOVE...

"You've been targeted for termination... from bland, untasty meals!"
***

Interrogator: Are you a robosexual, Mr. Child? 

Paul Child: No. I am not a robosexual.

Interrogator: This is not a joke.

Paul Child: I'm well aware of that.

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" does not compute.

Paul Child returns home and has violent robosexual sex with his robot wife, Juliabot-XR3000. 

Juliabot-XR3000 (robot voice): *beep* .... *beep* .... *beep*..*beep*..*beep* *beep* *beep* *beepbeepbeepBEEPBEEPBEEPBEPP* *BEEEEEERRROOPP* ... *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep* ...

10 minutes pass. 

Paul Child: Soooooo... whatcha thinkin' 'bout? 

Juliabot-XR3000 (robot voice): *boop boop* LOW... BATTERY... POWER... *Beep*

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Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "A republican would fire you."
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6 comments:

  1. hahahha, low battery power, good one!! keep going! :)

    ReplyDelete

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