And so, after many days of quote-jotting and snark-making, we finally come to a close. Part 5 of Julie Powell Says the Darndest Things follows.
|"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the biggest, most useless, whiny bitch of them all?"|
"You have such a sense of Julia when you do something like this, as a teacher, as a voice."
Wow, seriously--I know you are full of yourself, Julie Powell, but c'mon, I thought you were making progress before. And now you go back to these outlandish proclamations of how you are "in touch with" someone you've never met.
"I have conversations with her while I'm cooking."
That's actually a medical condition. I think it's called schizophrenia.
"And I feel like she is there with me in the kitchen."
Yeah, someone needs to write this woman a prescription for crazy pills.
Reporter: "She's like your imaginary friend."
Julie Powell: "Yes."
10 years later...
Psychiatrist: "She's like your imaginary friend."
Julie Powell: "Yes."
Psychiatrist: "I am going to suggest that we start meeting for 2-hour long sessions from here on out. And bi-weekly too."
"And of course, she is the person I write for everyday."
No, Julie. You should write for YOU. Write for yourself. (Oh, wait--you already do that. And it's unbearable. Nevermind then.)
"Although I don't think she ever reads it. I don't know."
I don't know either, but if I had to hazard a guess, I would think she is too busy not knowing how to turn on her computer.
|Oh, old people! This world makes no sense to you at all.|
"I'm dying to meet her. I would like to be a bridesmaid in her wedding in 1946."
Again, what a strange remark. It just baffles me how all of these characters just seem to ignore these things that come out of Julie's mouth as if they weren't completely insane. Also, it baffles me how no one has punched her in the fucking face yet.
"I realize that would take an inexplicable episode of time travel, but that is the sort of thing I think about."
If I could travel back in time, I would prevent the Lincoln and Kennedy assassinations from happening (sorry Garfield and McKinley), give Hitler's mom an abortion and train an army of dinosaurs to do my bidding--but no, being a bridesmaid in Julia Child's wedding would be cool too, I guess...
"I read somewhere that it was bad form to say 'yum' while eating, but 'yum!'"
I read somewhere that it was also bad form to say "FUCK YOU, JULIE POWELL, YOU SELF-CENTERED BITCH!"
"But she [Julia Child] said I wasn't respectful, or serious, or something."
I don't know about the first two, but you certainly aren't something.
"There's nothing wrong with her [Julia Child]. Nothing. I've spent a year with her. She's perfect."
Delightful? Certainly. Perfect? I don't know... She was a woman, after all.
(I sincerely apologize for that last sexist remark. I do acknowledge that 90% of my readership is made up of women, and I want you to know that I consider men and women equals on all fronts. Now, if you wanna be a baby doll and go ahead and make that sandwich for me, that'd be super...)
"She saved me. I was drowning and she pulled me out of the ocean."
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but does it not sound like Julie thinks Julia Child is her lord and savior? (well, either that, or a Mexican fishing boat)
"So its over."
Oh thank you, God.
Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "This thing weighs like two pounds."