Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 47 - Julie Powell Says the Darndest Things (pt. 2)

Day 47.

On Thursday, I went out of my way to write down every incredibly stupid, pointless and crazy sentence that came out of Julie Powell's mouth. Little did I know that there would be so many. For your viewing pleasure, I present to you: Part 2 of Julie Powell Says the Darndest Things.


"What do you think it means if you don't like your friends?"

I'm not a genius, but I think it means they aren't your friends. You are a huge bitch, after all. 

"You can never tell about a person's sex life by looking at them."

Are you kidding me? Look at Ron Jeremy. That man oozes sex appeal.

Helllloooo Ladddieeezz!!

"Last night our sleep machine, the one we have by our bed to drown out the nose of freight trucks rumbling past our apartment, was speaking to me. And it was saying: lobster killer, lobster killer, lobster killer, lobster killer."

You should probably play around with the settings on that thing. You know, try "bubbling brook" or "sounds of the Amazon."

"Here's an incredible thing. When Julia and Paul met, she was a virgin... She was like, practically 40." 

Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking? The 40-Year-Old Virgin II: Meryl's Revenge (I don't know why it's her revenge... I just feel like most good sequels have "revenge" in the title).

"When they got married, she could barely boil an egg. Isn't that amazing?"

Do you know what else is amazing? The fact that you think other people give a shit.

"I'm obsessed with her. I'm totally obsessed."

Oh really? I hadn't noticed. But seriously, this woman belongs in an insane asylum.

"I'm 30. I thought it was going to be terrible, but thanks to you [Not Mark Ruffalo], and thanks to Julia, it feels like I'm going to get through." 

You were worried about making it to 30? Sheesh, your cholesterol must be through the roof. Better cut down on that butter.

"It's like there's this whole group of people who are sort of connected to me. They need me in some way"

Do you know how angry I just got just typing that out? Get over yourself, Julie Powell.

"Like, if I didn't write, they would be really upset."

More like if you don''t die in the next 10 minutes, I would be really upset. 

Not Mark Ruffalo (sarcastically): "They'd probably take, like, poision, try to kill themselves."

Julie Powell: "Mmmhmm." 

For once in my life, I agree with Not Mark Ruffalo. I really do hate you, Julie Powell. 

(To be continued...)

Also, at the time of this post, AARON RODGERS and the GREEN BAY PACKERS are shellacking the NFC no. 1 seed Atlanta Falcons. NFC Championship, here we come!!!

GO PACK GO!!!!

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Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "Cake. More cake."
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11 comments:

  1. That Jeremy is another photoshop (see Mohammed, Khalid Sheikh)...

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  3. But they will have to play the BEARSSSSS at Soldier Field next week!!!!!!! Bears will kick ass.

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  4. Um...I'm pretty sure they'll be playing the Seahawks in Seattle. GO 12TH MAN!

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  5. No no... NEXT WEEK BITCHES

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  6. Long time lurker, first time commenting.

    Welcome to a long line of Julie Powell haters. They exist for a long variety of reasons, only a few can be appreciated from watching the movie.

    Possibly for your spring break, you might try reading her follow up book, "Cleaving" where she decides to totally screw up the opportunities she was offered from the first book. I am sure you recall the phone answering machine porn after the NY Times article hit. She chose to learn to be a butcher (and leave her husband, have anonymous sex from craigslist, have a long term affair and generally ruin whatever cache value she earned (?) from the movie).

    There is a saying that money and fame does not change your personality, it only accents it.

    The post Julie/Julia Julie Powell is much more hate inducing than the movie Julie Powell.

    BTW, how are your grades???

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  7. Woo-hoo! Even bigger fan of yours now that I see you're a Pack fan too!! Aaron Rodgers is badass!!

    ReplyDelete

  8. Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "Cake. More cake."

    YES. BEST QUOTE EVER. Always, more cake.

    ReplyDelete

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