Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 45 - Julie Powell Says the Darndest Things (pt. 1)

Day 45.

My dislike of Julie Powell in Julie & Julila is no big secret. And like most people, I would not complain if they just eliminated the Julie half of this movie all-together. But regardless of how intolerable she acts sometimes, she is definitely good for one thing--saying ridiculous things that make her sound like a crazy person. I've gathered some of them below (along with my responses) for the first installment of: Julie Powell Says the Darndest Things.

Yes. Yes, you are.

"And it was like she was there--like Julia [Child] was there in the room, on our side like some... great, big... good fairy."

Dammit, am I really going to be the one to have to tell her that the great, big, good fairy doesn't exist?

"Okay, here's a problem--I've never eaten an egg."

Okay, here's a real problem--thousands of Africans die from AIDS every day. Also, I hate you, Julie Powell.

Not Mark Ruffalo: "You have ADD?"
Julie Powell: "Yes. That's why I'm so bad at housework."

Yeah, that makes total sense. And I'm sure that's also why you will eventually become an alcoholic and beat your future kids.

"Is there anything better than butter?"

I can think of three: sex with a beautiful woman, a cure for all diseases, and bears. (also, if you allow a fourth: sex with a beautiful bear.) 

"Every time you taste something that's delicious beyond imagining and you say, 'What's in this?' The answer is always going to be 'butter.'"

Or LSD.

"The day there's a meteorite heading toward the Earth and we have 30 days to live, I am going to spend it eating butter."
 
Really? You're not going to spend it with your loved ones like a normal person? You're just going use your last moments on this planet sliding whole sticks of butter down your gullet? That's fucking disgusting.

"You can never have too much butter."

I beg to differ.

She probably has had too much butter.

"I've had eggs in like, cakes. Never had an "egg" egg. I was a very willful child." 

Fuck you. Just, fuck you. 

"I thought eggs were going to be greasy and slimy, but it tastes like... cheese sauce."

That doesn't even make sense. Eggs do not taste like cheese sauce. They taste like fucking EGGS. That's like saying "Oh my god, this hamburger is so delicious--I thought it was going to be all meaty and ketchupy, but it tastes like... hoisin crispy owl.

"I have this fantasy that she comes for dinner and I show her my new lemon zester. We become very close."

Oh, really? That's funny because I have this fantasy where I murder you in your sleep. (Side note: Isn't the lemon zester thing a pretty weird thing to say in general? Like, this woman should probably seek some sort of professional counseling).

(To be continued...)

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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "All right, boys. There's a new sheriff in town."

16 comments:

  1. I am very happy that you mentioned that goddamn cheese/egg bullshit. I mean christ.

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  2. Sex with a beautiful bear? That's just begging for bear rape.

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  3. The lemon zester thing is totally weird.

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  4. Someone else agrees that eggs do not taste like cheese sauce. I love cheese, makes everything taste better. Add it to anything and it's yummy. Adding eggs to anything is not yummy. Looking forward to part 2!

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  5. What the fuck is a lemon zester? As am avid fan of this movie (tonight it was on Encore) I totally understand everyone's antipathy to the parts with Julie Powell. It is so bad in contrast to the more interesting Julia story. What is wrong with you Nora Ephron?

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  6. How can anyone not have eaten an egg?! I actually exclaimed a 'WTF?!' and chucked my shoe at the TV. 'LIAR!' I cried.

    I take movies too seriously sometimes

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  7. "I can think of three: sex with a beautiful woman, a cure for all diseases, and bears. (also, if you allow a fourth: sex with a beautiful bear.)"

    I think you meant to say: "(also if you allow a fourth: sex with a beautiful, disease free bear)" or "(also if you allow a fourth: sex with a beautiful bear, which upon consummation cures all diseases").

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  8. By bears, I believe you meant the Chicago Bears...haha

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  9. I always assumed the lemon zester was some strange reference to a sex toy. It's a lot of fun pretending that Julie wants to have an affair with Julia. Makes her obsession make more sense, but also be more sinister at the same time.

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  10. We refer to our milk man as the magic food fairy. Is our milk man Julia?

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  11. The entire Julie Powell says the darndest things series was fucking hilarious.

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  12. You crack me up. Like, a lot.

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  13. i just cried from laughter at work. thank you.

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