Friday, December 3, 2010

Day 4 - Julie & Julia By The Numbers

Day 4.

For today's viewing of Julie & Julia, I decided to take notes and count how many times certain things happen over the course of the film--how many times a word or phrase is mentioned, how many instances where a character acts this or that way, etc. And having seen it a few times already, I kind of already knew what I'd be keeping my eye out for. The mind-blowing results below.

Number of instances where...

Meryl Streep does something delightful (delightful smile, laugh, sigh, other delightful noises, etc): 87

Amy Adams acts like a bitch (does something self-important and bitchy): 63

Other bitches (all other women in the film) act like a bitch: 35

Stanley Tucci is supportive of his wife: 18

Chris Messina isn't Mark Ruffalo: 264

Characters talk about food: 24
Characters look at food: 9
Characters buy food: 6
Characters order food: 1
Characters prepare/cook food: 43
Characters screw up the food that they're preparing: 7
Characters eat food: 28

Non-French speakers attempt to speak French: 35
French speakers attempt to speak English: 16

Amy Adams' offscreen mother calls with an annoying fake Southern accent: 3
The head chef of Le Cordon Bleu looks like Colonel Sanders: 8

Number of times the word/phrase " _____ " is uttered or mentioned

Butter: 16
Mario Batali: 1
Bon Appétit: 12
Blog/Blogging: 21
Stiff Cock: 1 (surprisingly)
Boning Ducks: 5 (again, more often than you'd think)
Yo, my name is Amy Adams and I'm about to get naked: 0 (unfortunately)

Miscellaneous

Meryl Streep sex scenes: 3
Amy Adams sex scenes: 1

Graphic Meryl Streep sex scenes: 0
Graphic Amy Adams sex scenes: 0

Amy Adams nude scenes: 0 (Really, Julie & Julia? You're going to make me sit through a year of watching a clothed Amy Adams? Fuck you.)

Allusions to Julia Child's spywork: 5
Allusions to September 11th: 6
Allusions to the Bret Michaels reality show, Rock of Love: 0

Instances of Cat Abuse: 4 (someone should probably alert the ASPCA)
Jokes at the expense of Alcoholic Anonymous: 1

Number of children Julia Child can have: 0 (pretty sad)
Number of hat-making lessons: 1
Number of times Stanley Tucci is accused of being a homosexual: 1
Number of fake-looking lobster puppets: 1
Number of old Julia Child SNL skits played all the way through for no reason, contributing to the already bloated 2-hour run time: 1
Number of Jane Lynch marriages: 1
Number of black people with speaking roles: 2

****

Well, that's it for now, folks. I hope you enjoyed my statistical analysis of this modern classic. I'll leave it to you guys to draw your own conclusions about the film.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "We know it's long."

28 comments:

  1. That was highly entertaining. Spot On Lawrence.

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  2. This is amazing. I guess the feech was just a warmup for the big show.

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  3. This is hilarious. You've made me look at the movie in a completely different light. I think you should attempt reading the book along the way as well.

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  4. I like that Julie & Julia is "making" you do this.

    Totally hilarious! And don't read the book, it's just as boring. Discussing "Rock of Love" may have made it slighty more interesting.

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  5. Your attention to detail makes me smile :-)

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  6. I'm still resisting the urge to watch this fucking movie...barely holding onnnn.....

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  7. Thanks for giving us the outline for so many possible drinking games.

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  8. What about instances of lobster abuse?

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  9. I'm racking my brain to find the black people in this movie!

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  10. How the hell do you actually have the perseverance to count them all! hahaha

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  11. On you items of reference to Amy Adams bitchiness, self importance and lack of nude/sex scenes...the obvious explanation is "Chris Messina is not Mark Ruffalo"

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