Saturday, December 18, 2010

Day 19 - Is Your Life Really That Bad, Julie Powell?

Day 19.

Julie Powell loooooves to complain about things in this movie. But in the grand scheme of things, does she really have that much to complain about? Last week, I tried to argue that living in Queens wasn't the worst thing in the world, but I soon incensed a few of my readers by saying so. Apparently, Queens really is that bad.

So let's try again, shall we? Time for another installment of:
Is Your Life Really That Bad, Julie Powell?

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Today's Topic of Discussion: YOU HAVE AN UNLIMITED FOOD BUDGET.

Julie, as much as you love to unnecessarily stress out about your food blogging project, at least you can afford the luxury of having a food blogging project in the first place. I know that you haven't experienced this firsthand, but food is expensive. And the good food that you attempt to cook on a daily basis? In the real world, that would have cost you a fortune.

"Yes Julie, the food you are eating costs MONEY."

Now I realize that the real Julie Powell must have in fact, spent a fair amount of dough on groceries, but I still wonder where it all came from. After all, the movie portrays Julie as an entry-level cubicle worker for the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation--nothing to scoff at--but I can't imagine it affords her all of the extravagant food purchases she makes. And her husband is an editor for Archaeology Magazine, which probably pays the bills for their New York apartment. I'm not one to prod, but can their combined salaries really pay for lobster every night?

"This overgrown crayfish costs how much?

Lobster is expensive, people! And it's not only the lobster--she spends half of this moving buying beef for her crazy boeuf bourguignon. At least 10 minutes of screen time is dedicated to buying all this meat. You think I'm exaggerating? She has to buy it twice because she screwed it up the first time!


"Buy beef once, shame on you."

"Buy beef twice, shame on your extravagant wealth."

Who let her do this? I mean, sure, she ruined her stew the first time and now she has to cook it again for her famous guest. But maybe that's her own fault?

Would you like some cheese with that whine?

She is cooking with a Chateau Lafite 1787. Market Value: $160,000. Really, you're going to cook with super expensive wine? No wonder you ruined the stew. Next time, use olive oil like us regular folk. Still don't believe me when I say Julie Powell has extravagant food needs?

Quality Meats? Damn.

She shops at a place called Quality Meats! And what do you think the K&T stands for? Kaviar & Truffles, probably (I know Caviar is spelled with a "C." But this place is probably so fancy and expensive that they sell it with a "K."). Shit, woman--I'm here stuck at home, eating low-grade, chemical-injected beef from my local Regular Meats chain like a chump. How can you afford to splurge at such a fine establishment? Oh, I know why: because you have an unlimited food budget. I just want you to know that beef doesn't grow on trees, little lady. It grows in butcher shops.

"$5/lb? That doesn't seem so bad. Give me 100 lbs. OM NOM NOM NOM!!!"

Long story short, stop complaining about food, Julie Powell. At least you have a limitless supply of it. Which is a hell of a lot more than these guys can say.

I hate to invoke the tired old "mom" cliche that "there are children starving in Africa," but really? GOD DAMMIT, JULIE POWELL!! THERE ARE CHILDREN STARVING IN AFRICA!!!
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Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "I just read your blog and it was strange and uncharacteristically thoughtful."

15 comments:

  1. Only 346 days to go...
    346 short days.

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  2. Does it concern you that the real Julie reads your blog? I'm not saying it should, as that might limit your art... but I'm curious.

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  3. I was just wondering if after all this Julie & Julia watching, whether you are going to be inspired to try cooking some recipes from Julia's cookbook?

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  4. We went to Andover togther. I read your blog everyday. I think you're so funny. I wish I was as funny as you. Come visit NC please

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  5. yeah! I am the 365th person to follow this intriguing blog. As in 365 days of watching/reading your mind being slowly destroyed. Well not slowly . Only a couple of days in and you were picking this movie apart.
    So to wrap up ,I enjoy your ramblings and love the "Not Mark Ruffalo" .

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  6. yes, the starving kids. you tell 'em, lawrence.

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  7. I think you meant K&T...Kaviar and Topaz? Otherwise this is hilarious.

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  8. Well, she was having an affair with her butcher... that should have helped her budget, no? http://www.latimes.com/sns-food-julie-powell,0,2544264.story

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  9. The truth is that life is defined by moments, and moments are defined by perspective... Think about it.

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  10. Has anyone started a blog based on reading your blog about Julie Powell's blog about cooking everything in the Julia Child cookbook every day for a whole year? If not, I may have to start one.

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  11. In defense on Queens, there is nothing wrong with it. I love it here. Especially since I believe they lived in either Astoria or Long Island City, which are the most popular and sought after areas here. Also, from what I've gathered she still lives here so can't be that bad Julie. Quit whining.

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  12. The orange Le Creuset pot she uses required a decent chunk of change as well...

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  13. In defense of Beef Bourguignon usually what's used is a cheap cut of meat, and I mean very cheap. And following the other poster, she didn't start the affair with "D" until after she had completed her J&J book and it was selling like, clears throat, hot cakes.

    I watched the movie once and thought all the things I've been reading on your blog and did catch the the zillion dollar bottle of wine she apparently used.

    Thank you for saying/writing all the things that went through my head when I regretted giving 2 hours of my life to that film.

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  14. You've made a very very good point here.

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  15. my mother: "Eat your spinach! There are starving children in India."
    me: "Please send this spinach to them."

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