Day 13 - Julie, Julia and Kanye West (pt. 1)

Day 13. 

Full disclosure--I'm a huge fan of Kanye West. Sure, he may be a crazy, egotistical douchebag... but he's a crazy, egotistical douchebag who makes great music. And his latest album, aptly titled My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, is nothing short of brilliant. Listening to Kanye was the only thing that got me through exam week. So, in honor of him, I decided to do a little musical experiment today. For this viewing of Julie & Julia, I decided to put the movie on mute and play Kanye West's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy in place of the film's regular audio à la Pink Floyd/The Wizard of Oz.

Kanye also created the best album cover of all time.

If you aren't familiar with Dark Side of the Rainbow, it refers to the bizarre discovery (by presumably, stoners) that if you play the 1973 Pink Floyd album The Dark Side of the Moon while simultaneously watching the classic 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, they somehow sync up narratively. For example, the lyric "balanced on the biggest wave" plays when Dorothy is tightrope walking along a fence, and then the music falls out as she falls down--and so on and so forth. You can watch the original phenomenon here, and someone has put together a comprehensive guide of things that line up here. You have to admit that the parallels are pretty convincing at times.

I figure that if the pairing of an iconic album and equally iconic film works once, why can't it work again? Esteemed readers, I give you what will be the first installment in a series of posts: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Julie & Julia.

Warning: Like the album, this post is fairly explicit and will employ the heavy use of profanities. Shit ass boobs.

 ***

Format: "Kanye West lyric" – What's happening in Julie & Julia.

Track 1 - Dark Fantasy

"Can we get much higher?" – Their car is being being lowered from a crane, so no, they cannot get much higher.

"I fantasized about this back in Chicago" – Meryl streep eating fish. Who doesn't fantasize about that? It makes perfect sense that Kanye, a Chicago native, would fantasize about this.

"You ain’t got no fuckin’ Yeezy in your Serato?" – There is no yeezy in the Serato. Also, I have no idea what a Serato is.

"And fire up the engines and then they make noooise" – Julie Powell entrance. Generally speaking, she makes a lot of noise.

"Can we get much higher? (higher, higher)" – Julie Powell is high.
 
"I saw the devil in a Chrysler LeBaron" – Not Mark Ruffalo is driving a jeep. I guess he's not the devil.
 

"Can we get much higher? (higher, higher)" – The apartment. They are living above a pizza parlor so they are on the top floor. Therefore, they cannot get much higher. Maybe if they went up on the roof?

"Can we get much higher? (higher, higher)" – An entire conversation between Amy Adams and Not Mark Ruffalo. They are high.

Track 2 - Gorgeous

"Ain’t no question if I want it, I need it. I can feel it slowly drifting away from me." – Meryl Streep is seeing Paris for the first time. Everyone wants her. Everyone needs her. Yet she always drifts away. Yeah, that makes sense, I think.

"Penitentiary chances, the devil dances, and eventually answers to the call of autumn" – It is autumn in New York. Or at least it looks like autumn. It's definitely not winter.

"Inter century anthems based off inner city tantrums" – Julie Powell walking through streets and subways of the inner city, probably throwing a tantrum in her head. Someone in the background plays an inter century anthem.

"Face it, Jerome get more time than Brandon" – Julie Powell walks through a street crowd. I assume these are all extras, but I guess one of them could feasibly be named Jerome, and another Brandon.

"I treat the cash the way the government treats AIDS" – View of ground zero as Julie walks by. Some kind of 9/11 political commentary. George Bush does not care about black people, after all.
 
"I will never ever let you live this down, down, down" – Strangers yelling at Amy Adams over the phone. She's crying and probably won't be able to live this down.

"He said 'take them glasses off and get in the pool'" – Amy Adams talks to her boss while wearing glasses on her head. Crazy! Sadly, they are in at the office and there is no pool in sight. Clearly, Kanye wants to see Amy Adams in a bikini as badly as I do.

"Take them glasses off and get in the fucking pool, bitch!"

"'Cause people is looking at me like I’m sniffing coke" – People are looking at Amy Adams like she’s sniffing coke.

"I ain't got it, I’m going after whoever who has it" – Not Mark Ruffalo is coming after Amy Adams, who is making chocolate pie. I assume the "it" refers to the chocolate pie, though that may be a bit of a stretch.

"Armani suits, fresh fruits, Bally boots and Benzes" – Amy Adams has lunch with her rich, bitchy friends. They are all wearing Armani suits, fresh fruits, Bally boots--no Benzes though, it is not a drive-thru restaurant.

Track 3 - Power

"Intro - series of rhythmic African chants" – Bitchy friends talking. Amazingly, the chants are perfectly in sync with the bitchy friends' mouths. Mind is blown.

"Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it" – Haters scream at Amy Adams, myself included.

 
"No one man should have all that power. The clock’s tickin’, I just count the hours." – Magazine cover featuring Amy Adams. The cover story is about people turning 30. Shit just got mad existential up in here.

"He know, he so, fuckin’ gifted. I just needed time alone, with my own thoughts" – Amy Adams blogs about things. This is basically the mentality of every blogger alive.

 
"Got treasures in my mind but couldn’t open up my own vault" – Yup, that's me.
 

"My childlike creativity, purity and honesty is honestly being prodded by these grown thoughts" – Still blogging. Dammit, grown thoughts--stop prodding me.

 
"21st century schizoid man" – Close-up of Not Mark Ruffalo. He is definitely a 21st century schizoid man.

"Well, that’s a pretty bad way to start the conversation" – Amy Adams is talking to her husband while eating and talking about blogs. Looks like a terrible way to start the conversation.

 
"I don’t need yo’ pussy, bitch, I’m on my own dick" – Not Mark Ruffalo looks at his wife.

"I got the power, make yo’ life so excitin’ (So excitin’)" – Amy Adams has the power to blog! Awesome! now the next hour and 45 minutes of this movie is definitely going to be so excitin'!

"Now this would be a beautiful death" – First glimpse of Amy Adams being annoying. Kanye knows what's up and is telling her to kill herself.

"Jumpin’ out the window, Lettin’ everything go" – Don't do it, Amy Adams. You have so much to live for!

(To be continued...)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "They'd probably take, like, poison. Try and kill themselves."