Day 10 - Stanley Tucci is Probably a Pedophile

Day 10.

Thanks to yesterday's Huffington Post mention, along with some new articles on Jezebel and MSNBC (Wait, what's a legitimate news outlet doing on here?), my fickle internet fame has increased tenfold. And because I apparently have readers now, that means I get reader comments--weird, I know.

While I do go through and read each and every comment (and feel the subsequent blow to my huge ego), I feel bad because I can't always directly respond to you guys. To deal with this newfound attention, I decided to take the big plunge and obtain an email address for the blog. You can now reach me directly at lawrenceandjulieandjulia@gmail.com. Please, only spam me if it's really, really important spam.

Also, with this new "electronic mail" feature, I hope to introduce some sort of occasional reader feedback post on the blog, where you send in questions and I answer them (probably in some sort of douchey, snarky manner). That could be fun, right? Yeah... that could be fun.

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Do you ever have the problem of watching an actor/actress play a role in a movie whose performance is so good/moving/memorable that you're never able to see said actor/actress play any other part? I have that problem with Stanley Tucci. I have seen Julie & Julia 10 times now, but I can never picture Stanley Tucci (who plays Julia Child's husband, Paul) as anything other than the creepy pedophile in The Lovely Bones.

Noted pedophile Stanley Tucci

Tucci was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar after his spot-on portrayal of the local pedophile-murderer, George Harvey, but lost--probably because no one wants to give a pedophile-murderer an Oscar.

Wikipedia describes Tucci's character as a guy "who coaxes [the protagonist girl] into seeing an underground den he says he has built for the neighborhood children." I honestly don't think a more pedophiliac-friendly sentence exists in the English language.

I want you to come down to my underground den!

Granted, The Lovely Bones came out later than Julie & Julia, but unfortunately, I saw Tucci's haunting performance as George Harvey before his delightful, supportive turn as Paul Child. Don't get me wrong, I can see how someone who hasn't seen The Lovely Bones wouldn't mind Tucci in this movie. I mean, he is clearly a great actor. But that's the problem--he was so good that I have convinced myself that he is actually a pedophile, and thus, brings his love of having sex with children along with him in every role he plays.

What other kinds of pictures has he taken with that camera?

Every time he's on screen, coddling Meryl Streep, I picture him coddling a young child. Every time he's on screen, eating Meryl Streep's food, I picture him having a pretend tea party with a young child. Every time he's on screen, having sex with Meryl Streep, I picture him--OH DEAR GOD!!!! NOOOOO!!!!

If I ever have kids, I will definitely make sure that we won't live within a 50-mile radius of Stanley Tucci. With men like him on the loose, you can never be too safe.

I'm sure this sounds bad in writing and many of you may very well be offended by what I've said. But imagine what its like for me--having to watch the pedophile-murderer Stanley Tucci gallivant about on screen every day for 2 hours--free to molest and kill whoever he wants! (as long as they aren't tall enough to ride on a rollercoaster)

I appreciate the work you've done, Stanley Tucci. It's just that--well, you are also a pedophile. And I really can't stand for that.

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Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "I am a one-way street, just like Eric says."